"Special K Protein Meal Bar, Strawberry, 1.59 oz, 8/Box"Day 1

2:00 pm and I have managed not to eat anything yet.  It helps that I slept until noon but normally I would have had about 200 calories so far.  I made a glass of iced tea mix, the kind in the little packets.  They're 5 calories and helps keep me full.  It definitely helped not eating right away when I woke up.  I felt really hungry at first but I fought through it and now my stomach has begun to shrink enough that the tea is making me feel full.  I'm looking at all of the food in the fridge differently now.  Now I recognize how careful I really have to be if I want to lose weight.  No more arbitrarily eating.  I have to choose everything I eat very, very carefully.

3:20 pm.  I had to eat because I felt my sugar getting low (hypoglycemia).  I can already tell this isn't going to be easy.  I got weak and shaky so I had to eat even though I felt like I should be holding off for longer.  How do these people do this for days on end?  Anyway, at least I restricted some.  I had a bowl of Special K with no milk, which ran me about 200 calories.  I'm going to follow a rule that I should have no more calories (in the hundreds) by the time of day it is.  Example, by 3 o'clock I shouldn't have had more than 300 calories, by ten pm I can have 1000 racked up for the day, but I'm going to aim to stop all eating by 9 pm.  Eating made me hungrier than I was before, and it's taking longer to feel like I'm not weak because I ate so little.  I can tell weakness is going to be a side-effect that I will have to be clever to overcome.  Eating my carbs first thing is definitely a good strategy.  My body will eventually adjust and start burning my fat stores instead of waiting for me to feed it more.  It has gotten lazy.  Hopefully it won't take too long to realize I'm done feeding it all the bloody time.

Bedtime.  Dinner presented the first challenge.  I realized I am in no way prepared for this and need to stock up on some go-to foods that are good for weight loss.  I had another bad sugar crash before dinner; this one brought me close to passing out.  I grabbed a handful of the nearest sugar which happened to be gummy bears and wound up eating my way through about 120 calories of them.  So I racked my calorie count up to 320 before dinner, which was about 500 by my guess.  Another problem.  When eating something cooked by someone else, it is very hard to estimate how many calories you're getting.  I guessed high, I had steak and some vegetables.  I also had a glass of red wine which I know I need to be cutting back on if I want to do this properly.  I discovered why lately alcohol has been having little effect on me.  On an empty stomach, one glass of wine had me buzzed.  I am in no way a heavy drinker but I do like to have the occasional drink with my guy and his or my family.  It's good to know that what little wine or liquor I allow myself will act like more than just water since apparently the food that constantly fills my stomach negates it altogether. 

I had a protein shake before my night walk because I could yet again feel shakes coming on and since I knew I would have to give in to some food either way, I did it before I became close to fainting again.  It tagged on an extra 220 calories but it made me fuller instantly.  My stomach has already begun to shrink some.

So, at the end of day one, here are some highlights:
My calorie count, rounded up, totaled 1120.  120 over my goal but better than I had expected for the first day.
I need to stock the fridge with some healthy, low calorie alternatives instead of having to eat gummy bears for a sugar crash.
I feel a little more tired than normal but I caught my second wind after dinner as usual.
I am slightly more irritable, but I'm not sure if that can be marked up to the diet.
Let's see if I can do better tomorrow.
Best regards,
La Ballerine